The Fairy in the Pocket

The plain and simple fact of the matter is that I, Felisa Florinda Fredrica Fingerman, live in a pocket because I cannot bear to leave. It’s more than a little embarrassing, a fairy who is afraid of spaces larger than a square foot, but it’s the truth and so I do my best to admit it when the topic comes up at parties and such. Not always, mind you, but most times.

But my unique condition has given me a unique perspective on the ever-lovely Princess Mariam and her ever-snobby servant Azurine. Because I don’t live in just any old pocket, I live in the pocket of a princess. It was a relief to my parents, because they were afraid that with my condition I’d never manage to make a living, but things turned out alright in the end.

The day I met Mariam it was cold and sunny, one of those days where the sun looks down on all of us and smirks because he’s warm and we’re not. As usual, my family was out frolicking in the fall flowers while I stayed in the burrow. They all—my parents and grandparents and brothers and sisters and at least half of my aunts and uncles and cousins—had the day off from their jobs. A rather unusual occurrence, considering that fairy godparents almost never have days off, which is the trade most of my relatives are in.

I stayed in and straightened up the burrow. I’m pretty good at cleaning up, for a fairy. That’s what happens when you’re a bit different from everyone else: you get very good at something ordinary people aren’t. My family is very proud of the fact that our home is the neatest in the neighborhood and they always tell me so, which is a great help when I’ve just had a fit from going out and picking up our mail from the pricker bush.

I was almost done with my task when the owl who lived in the tree over us came home. He was always such a dear, sweet animal, but he was so fat that he couldn’t quite fit into the hole he used to get in the tree. There was a terrific shake that threw down a lot of dust on all of the furniture that I had so recently cleaned. I gathered my courage and went outside. This took several tries, because I like lecturing people even less than I like the great-wide-open-outdoors, but the owl really needed to learn some manners. At the very least, I thought, I could make his hole a bit bigger, and that’s the thought that got me outside.

Anyhow, I had just stepped outside when Mariam arrived, with Azurine in tow, escorted by some prince whose name I and the rest of the world have long forgotten. I’ll call him Filbert, because I’m reasonably sure that his name had a –bert at the end.

The very moment they got off their horses, Filbert started complaining about the cold and Azurine disappeared somewhere. Mariam set up the picnic herself, without complaint and very neatly, which impressed me. It’s not too many humans who will try to smooth out a blanket spread on the ground and actually manage it. I even forgot that I was outside and stepped closer.

Apparently I kept stepping, because Filbert and Mariam had just started eating when I realized that I was three whole yards away from the burrow. My heart leaped into my throat, and I started to hyperventilate. The princess was sitting with her skirts spread out, which is good because I was so panicked that when I saw the pocket I dove straight for it and didn’t even think about the fact that a small fairy jumping in her pocket might alarm the princess. As it was, she had so many petticoats that she didn’t notice me in the slightest.

It took far too long for me to calm my nerves, but when I did I poked my head out a bit, just so I could hear what was happening. Being a princess, Mariam’s pocket barely had anything interesting in it, and it certainly didn’t need much cleaning, so that once I threw out a few pieces of lint I had nothing else to do than listen to her conversation. Azurine was the only one in a position to see me, and she wandered off after a few moments so I wasn’t in much danger and poked my head out even farther, so I could hear almost everything. The conversation went something like this.

“Ah, Princess Mariam, you are truly lovely. Though I wonder if perhaps you might not care to ask my dear sister Filberta for a few hair-style tips.” Filbert blew his nose.

“Thank you for the complement.” Short and stiff words, but Mariam managed to put a certain grace in her words that was downright impressive.

He sneered, probably meaning to smile winningly. “If only we were in my own kingdom, we might avoid the difficulty of such a…natural picnic. Our parks are second to none, and we might have taken a carriage instead of being forced to ride horseback.”

“It sounds pleasant.”

Somehow encouraged by the princess’s monotone response, the man stood up and puffed out his chest. “Yes, our carriages are excellent, and our carriage horses are particularly well bred.”

I couldn’t help it. I snorted with laughter, and then I sneezed, no doubt making Mariam’s skirt twitch. I froze. Mariam carefully smoothed out her skirt, and Filbert carried on with his monologue about carriage horses.

“Why yes, my lady, I pride myself on being something of an expert on carriage horses. But then I have time for such frivolous pursuits, being naturally gifted in my usual studies. My kingdom is quite wealthy. And I assure you, that whatever the unfortunate circumstances of your own kingdom, I would not look down on you in the slightest.”

“Oh for heaven’s sake!” I protested quietly. Mariam shifted a little and made a small noise that was simply a polite nothing that meant neither yes nor no.

Filbert did not notice in the slightest, being too caught up in contemplating his own grandeur. “Yes, I will be a great king some day, and you are certainly beautiful enough to make an excellent portrait beside me, if your father is wise enough to consider my suit with the seriousness it deserves.”

“But only if he can stay calm during your ridiculous speeches, and refrain from punching you,” I muttered.

Mariam gave a light laugh, which finally drew Filbert’s attention back to her. “Yes, I believe my father is considering your proposal of a marriage alliance with all the seriousness it deserves.”

The afternoon wore on. Filbert finally started to talk about something other than himself. I was lulled to sleep by the warm pocket, Filbert’s dull conversation and Mariam’s polite responses, and the cup of mint tea I’d drunk before leaving home. When I woke up, I was in the middle of a very large table. I’m not at all ashamed to say that I screamed and dove into a nearby bowl of apples, because it was one of the most alarming situations I’ve ever been in.

“Oh, please don’t go!” Mariam said, running over to the table. She told me later how tricky it had been to extract me from her pocket without waking me up. “It’s so dull being a princess. The most interesting thing that’s happened to me all week is meeting you.”

“Well, it certainly hasn’t been dull for me,” I squeaked, peeking out from between the apples.

We stared at each other for a while before a bell rang six. Both of us jumped. Mariam looked down at me apologetically. “I’m terribly sorry. I’ve never seen a fairy before. What do I do now?”

“If I were a normal fairy, I’d offer to be your personal fairy godmother, since you seem like a lovely person. But I’m afraid of large spaces and you live in a castle, which is a very large space, so I don’t think I would do you much good.” All I wanted to do was go home. But that would be tricky, considering it would be miles of open space to cover. I shuddered.

“Oh.” Mariam looked down at the floor. “But it was so lovely having someone to listen to other than Filbert. And you said such funny things.” It was clear that she wanted me to stay, which meant that if I left without helping her at least a little it would be a serious breach of protocol.

“You heard all I said?” I asked, embarrassed.

She nodded. “I have very good hearing. Please stay, at least for a little while.”

I made up my mind. “I don’t suppose you have a bag or something that I could stay in?” I asked politely. “Most of us just turn ourselves invisible when we’re around humans, but I’ve never been very good at that. And if I’m going to stay around, I’ll need some place to stay hidden.”

Mariam beamed. “I’ve got this,” and she held out a lovely white satin purse. “I always carry it with me.”

I leaped in before she could change her mind about the whole thing. “This will be perfect, thank you.”

“Is there anything you need?”

“If you could take me to a window, I’ll send my family a message quickly, so they won’t worry. Oh, my mother’s going to be so proud of me. Leaving home and finding a job so quickly!”

I knew I made the right choice when Mariam took me to the window straight away, even though it made her late for dinner. Of course, that turned out not to be such a bad thing, because it offended Filbert so badly that he dropped his suit immediately and left for more punctual climates. So it was quite an auspicious start to our friendship.

Even if I couldn’t manage to get rid of his sister, too.